what it means to be

It just feels like a lot of good things are slipping away right now. And a lot of things I was looking forward to, are starting to look really different. I guess it just hurts. It's sad to realize that life doesn't owe you anything, and the best things in life usually end up breaking up with you.

I'm more numb than anything right now. I've spent most of day turning on movies and falling asleep ten minutes into them. It's hard enough to get up, let alone function. The idea of getting up and getting dressed for work tomorrow sounds like a joke.

I know you need this right now. And I am proud of you for having the courage to know what you need and getting it. I want to be your best friend and to be here for you. Because I really do love you. And I guess that's what this means. I just want to help you and hold you and watch you grow.

I just know that late at night when I can't sleep and all I can hear is the city shaking

I'll miss you.